I’m getting used to my lower-energy days. This morning, Frank and I walked for 30-minutes on Hubbard Gulch Rd…a good climb that got our hearts racing. After “Earth Centered Sunday” at Marshall Creek Center, we walked up the road and treated ourselves to lunch, then walked the mile home (in the 90 degree weather).
When I got home, I was tired – as is to be expected. But it was tired from doing the physical work…not sleepy tired. My body just wanted to rest. So, I worked for an hour and a half on my Reiki business…putting my class announcement up on Craigslist, putting the final touches on the flyers advertising both my class and the drop-in clinic, and updating my website with these new offerings. I was totally into it. Then I had a distance Reiki client. After all that, I was sleepy tired…I think the Reiki session helped me to really relax too :) Instead of lamenting my tiredness or needing to push away my desire to have a pick-me-up (aka chocolate), I found myself heading outside to find my honey. We sat and chatted for a good while in the coolness of the early evening.
Being more refreshed, I came in and fixed Cap’s dinner, fed all the animals, and had a bite to eat myself. Now I am here at my computer with a low, but steady and mellow energy. And I’m perfectly all right with it…that’s the blessing in this!
I did have an “ah ha” today…I realize that I seem to carry a bit of angst with me all the time. Over all sorts of little stuff: will my Reiki class fill?, what if no one comes to the drop in clinic?, when will I find the time to water all the fruit trees?, is my aerobic routine sustainable over the long haul?, how will Cap manage tomorrow when Frank and I are gone most of the day & night to celebrate our wedding anniversary?, is the Advantage I’m giving my kitties to keep fleas away doing them more harm than good?, we’re running out of bread and soy milk…I’ve got to get to the grocery store. Shit like that is running through my head most of the day. I’ve never noticed it before because I haven’t been this calm to stop and listen.
Today, during my Reiki meditation, I focused on the second precept and asked myself, “In what ways is all this worrying distracting me…and what am I distracting myself from?” I waited and waited for some insight, but none came. So I decided to spend the rest of my time doing a grounding meditation…if answers aren’t coming, I’m probably not well grounded. Soon, the chatter subsided and I could sit in silence. Maybe the answers will come tomorrow…or later. They are eluding me today. Being aware of the anxious chatter is an important step, and for that I am grateful.