When I realized that what I had been intending – what I had been meditating on – what I had been doing Reiki on – what I had put my Celestial Team on (whom I didn’t really believe in but was applying the ‘fake it ‘till you make it’ approach), had actually manifested itself…to the letter, I went into my room, closed the door and threw my head back and laughed and cried, cried and laughed. I danced a little jig. “I’m not alone! I’m not alone!” I exclaimed. Holding my arms out wide, up toward the sky, I welcomed in my Team – acknowledging them for the first time in my life. Pure love washed over me and I felt completely embraced. It was like a homecoming. “Now I don’t have to work so hard – I don’t have to do it all myself by pushing and pushing,” I cried. It felt like I had been rescued from a deserted island, where I had been stranded for years having to struggle to do everything myself. Help had arrived! Yet, I have the feeling that they’ve always been here…only I just wasn’t ready for them. Until now.
“Thank you; thank you; thank you,” I uttered in complete gratitude. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you!” I stopped in my tracks; ‘deserve’…now that’s an interesting word. This means: be worthy of; earn; merit; warrant; justify. This feels like it’s straight from the “original sin” mindset: The Christian belief that we are born sinners and our salvation relies solely on God’s forgiveness.
“There is no ‘deserving,’” I heard them say. “There is no ‘deserving’ because there is no authority, no judging, no separation, no duality, no ‘you’, no ‘them’, no ‘us’. You are a part of everything that has past, everything that is now, and everything that will come – everyone is. You need only to tell us what you want – how you want to heal the world – and we will manifest it in the purest way with reconnection to spirit, to soul, to love. You are not alone in this endeavor. Millions are with you and you are with millions. All with the goal of healing the world.”
So there it is: My official connection to ‘spirit’ – to something larger than myself. It consists of me, and you, and everyone and everything else – the Cosmic Consciousness, the ultimate Mastermind Group, the great Sacred Circle. No constructs, no dogma, no further explanations. I just want to throw my head back and laugh and cry and do a little jig in the midst of Mystery.